Should we live with each other before we get married? It’s a question as old as time. Depending on your background, there are a lot of different ways to answer this question. There are a lot of things that can affect whether or not you decide to live together. There are pros and cons to living together before getting married, no matter where you stand. Let’s break those down, keeping in mind that just because living together before getting married works for one couple doesn’t mean it will work for every couple.
Over the past few decades, many couples have wondered if it’s smart to live together before getting married. People didn’t have to think about this many years ago because it didn’t happen very often. But it is becoming more and more common and accepted today. But before you move in together, there are a lot of things to think about.
First, you both need to look at what you want and be on the same page. In other words, do you live together in the same house to see if you get along? Are you living together because you don’t want to get married or because you want to put it off? If so, why do you keep doing it?
In an ideal situation, you should have a long, honest talk about why one or both of you want to live together without getting married. Maybe one of you thinks the other wants to get married, but the other person doesn’t. Or one has to get married by a certain date, and the other doesn’t. Or, one person thinks this is just a serious relationship and hasn’t really thought about getting married.
The Pros
Let’s talk about the good and bad things about living together before getting married.
1. Sharing Finances
This might be one of the most common reasons why people choose to live together before getting married. Think about it: most couples who are serious about each other are already living together. They keep clothes and other personal items at one person’s house, and they might be there more than at their own home. In that case, it would make sense to stop paying two different rents or mortgages, two different utility and cable bills, and so much more.
Even though this is a good thing about living together, you need to be smart with your money. It’s easy to spend the extra money you’ve saved without knowing where it went. A better idea would be to save the money from the other family and invest it in your future together.
2. When you finally get married, you have less stress.
It can be hard to live with anyone. No matter if it’s your own parents, siblings, or children, everyone can get on your nerves when you live in the same place 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s just the way things are.
But when you are dating or in a serious relationship with someone, you have had much less time to learn about their habits. When you first start dating someone, you don’t notice or don’t care about some of their annoying habits. It might even seem cute to you. But as time goes on, things that seemed fine at first start to bother you.
So, imagine that you had never lived together before you got married and that when you moved in together, you had a mental breakdown. You might think, “This person is driving me crazy because they never do the dishes!”
If you live together before you get married, you’ll know what to expect, and there will be a lot fewer surprises.
3. You get closer, and your relationship gets stronger.
Intimacy is important in all relationships, but it’s especially important in marriages. But when I say “intimacy,” I’m not just talking about physical or emotional closeness. There are other kinds of intimacy, like intellectual, spiritual, experiential, and volitional, that are just as important.
The Cons
1. Not Everyone Will Like It
Living together before getting married can be bad if you don’t have a strong support group. A good support system is made up of close friends and family members with whom you can talk openly and deeply about the challenges of living with your person.
When you live close to someone, you will always have problems. If you’ve ever lived with roommates, you know that a shared life can bring both more trouble and more happiness. You put your relationship at risk if you don’t have a good support system in place because living together will likely bring up new and deep problems that you and your partner haven’t faced before.
If both people’s families and friends don’t want them to move in, that’s not good. But if one of you comes from a family that doesn’t like the idea and the other comes from a family that does, that can still cause trouble. The partner whose family is okay with it might not understand why the other person’s family isn’t.
In the worst cases, this can cause people to lose their family and/or friend relationships. So, this is something you should really think about before you move in together.
2. Your relationship could get worse if you don’t help each other.
Whether you are getting married or not, deciding to live with your partner is a big step. Heck, it’s not always easy to live with anyone else besides yourself. Having a roommate can help you feel less lonely, but it can also bring a lot of problems.
So, if you don’t have the support of your friends and family, it’s likely that it will hurt your relationship. There may be stress and anger in the air between you and this person. Even if it’s not said out loud, and even if it has nothing to do with the two of you, things from the outside world can still cause you to fight.
Living with anyone can be hard in and of itself at times. If you’ve ever shared a room with someone, you know what I mean. So, if you don’t have a good support system in place, you could put your relationship at risk because it could lead to new problems that you and your partner haven’t dealt with yet.
3. You’ll save money, but it might make your relationship weaker.
When you are single or just live by yourself, you have full control over your money. No one can tell you how to spend your money or what you can buy with it. But that might change when you move in with your partner.
You might still have your own bank accounts, but you’ll be paying for things together. There will be things to decide, like how the rent or mortgage will be paid or who will pay for groceries and utilities. You may have very different ideas about how these things should be done.
Final Thought
If you and your partner have been dating for a while and are starting to think about living together before getting married, you should be sure of why you want to move in together. You should want to spend more time with your partner and learn more about them. You should also be willing to show them more of yourself.
Before you move in with your partner, it’s also important to talk about money, responsibilities, future plans, and other important parts of your relationship. This way, you’ll both be on the same page before you make this commitment.
Is living together before marriage good?
Cohabiting is a great way to try out a relationship before getting married if that’s what you want to do in the end. It gives couples a place where they can get to know each other better and learn how to work as a unit that shares a living space and a life.
Does living together before marriage lead to divorce?
People think that living together before getting married is one reason why divorce rates are going down. Living together before getting married gives couples a chance to see if they’re a good match before they get married and part ways if they’re not. This makes it less likely that they will break up later.